Tokyo or Bust (But Please, Universe, Not really)

Yes, yet again it would appear I have abandoned this blog for months.  But, honestly, when all I really did for the past few months was school, work, and the occasional social-like thing it didn't really seem all that appropriate or interesting to blog about it. Occasionally I'd come up with something to blog about, but then we run into the "I forgot/I was lazy/I was busy" territory of excuses.  So part of me wonders if I should just copy/paste the opening paragraph of my blog every time this happens, but then I wonder if every blog entry would start this way.

However! I am about to do something much more interesting than school, work, eat, homework, sleep, lather, rinse, repeat, etc.  Well, at least I think it's more interesting.  If all plans go, well, according to plan Wednesday morning I'll be boarding a plane and won't be returning for another two months.  And when I say "according to plan" I mean barring computer glitches and national disasters because apparently those things happen a little bit more frequently than I'd like.  So, you know, knock on wood and cross your fingers for me because I'm going to Japan.

I've been telling people the whole thing seems so surreal partially because I feel like I don't usually do things like this, and partially because I've been planning it for so long.  Ignoring the fact that I've been studying the language since my freshman year of high school (so 6 years) and the fact that I've regretted not applying to go on a high school exchange program that went to Japan the summer after my freshman year, I've still been planning this exact trip for about two years.  My entire freshman year of college I researched programs, attempted to figure out dates, went to study abroad fairs, visited the study abroad office and whatnot, and then spent much of this year applying and getting ready for it.  So the fact that I will be in Japan in 3 days is just... wow.

So for the next two months I plan on recounting my countless adventures on this blog.  After all, this place needs some love and the owl gets lonely. I've also got a tumblr I'm planning on posting pictures to.  The idea is I'd at least like to post a picture every day and a blog every now and then (once a week perhaps?).  Maybe I'll get really ambitious and post some video blogs! I'm not entirely sure how much internet or computer time (especially with the energy concerns that are going on over there) but I'm hoping to use the time I do have to post on these things. Beyond the fact that I've had a lot of people say they want to hear about what I'm doing, I'd like a record of what I'm about to do.  Mostly because I feel like when it's done with I won't believe it's actually happened.

Consumerism

Why hello there blog! It appears I have not written in quite a while... so much for daily posting in 2011! All the same, I really do miss blogging and would like to get back into it again. My winter quarter was INSANE and I'm surprised I blogged as much as I did in January. February AND March have passed since I last wrote, but I wouldn't see it so much that I "failed" in my daily posting (which, okay, yes, I did technically fail) but that I simply took the project in a different direction. During the time I didn't post public blogs here, I kept a more private journal using a Google Chrome app called Pillarbox. It's quite fun and nifty and it's nice to use as a little journal to quickly type of personal thoughts. Sometimes I feel like when I blog publicly on the internet I create a sort of persona instead of writing things I really think. Except, I don't really want to write down everything I think at the time. Sometimes those things are mean. Sometimes these things are whiny. Sometimes they're stupid (I recently went back and read some of my old livejournal posts from middle school for example. Egads I was quite the... individual). Sometimes these things are things I think at the time then quickly change my mind. Sometimes these things are sad. Still, I miss blogging and putting things out there for whoever to read.

Anyway, lately I've been walking home after classes due to the fact it's been sunny, not rainy (yes, it can be sunny AND rainy at the same time, silly Washington), and not too cold. I've realized this year I really like taking long walks, especially by myself. It's a great time to sort of let my mind wander and see what I come up with. On my way home today I realized that recently my consuming has severely trumped my creating. Normally I'm blogging, creating youtube videos, writing creative fiction, crocheting, and doing things that work to create the world I make to live in. Except, lately I've been doing a lot more consuming. I've been reading blogs, watching youtube videos, reading books/comics, watching movies, playing video games, etc. I realize I do a lot of this normally, but it's taken up the entirety of my free time. Even in school I haven't been doing more than take what teacher says --> Internalize --> regurgitate without really thinking. Consuming without creating. Taking without giving.

Which, honestly, is a little depressing.

So here is me attempting to add a little more creation back into my life. I'm hoping to start blogging more and making some youtube videos (I even have a few planned!). I've also got another project in the works that may or may not actually happen. I hope it will, and I've told a few people the idea (and everyone has told me to go for it in some way/shape/form) so we'll see what happens there.

Oh also, I'm studying in Japan this summer. My application is pending some additional personal information, but pending further acts of God and whatnot I will be spending two months in Japan. Oh my goodness.

Oh, and another thing I read some scans for the Mass Effect 3 article in the lastest Gameinformer Magazine and OH MY GOODNESS. Serious. Freaking. Nerdgasm. I cannot begin to describe how excited I am for this. Not gonna lie, it's mostly for Kaiden. Reapers are epic and all, but Kaiden FTW!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes...

Dreams are funny things, I think. And I don't just mean the weird things that run through your head at night that you don't always remember. And I'm not just talking about the hope type dreams you have for your life. I mean both kinds of dreams, and how similar they are. Or how much they can intertwine. If you want something badly enough, and you think about it enough, it often enters into your dreams. When I watch way too much of a show,play some video game constantly, or am in the midst of whatever my latest obsession is that obsession usually enters into my dreams in one way or another. Like that weird Buffy dream I had a few weeks ago after I spent nearly the entire weekend watching season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I remember in my senior year of high school when I had to keep a dream journal for my AP psychology class. Honestly, my dreams are really really weird. Which is something I've always wondered, are most people's dreams really weird? Plus, my dreams always feel more like video games than movies. There's usually some sort of protagonist (not always me, but much of the time it is) and I'm playing in their role, but at the same time I realize that it's not real and it's just some crazy adventure. I've had dreams where it REALLY felt like a video game because there was leveling up, party characters, map "screens", etc. Some of these video game dreams can rival Japanese RPGs in weirdness, and you've ever played a JRPG then you know that's saying something.

The weirdest dreams, though, are the ones where my dreams for real life slip through. I usually obsess about things pretty heavily and they tend to dominate my thoughts in a sort of endless loop of worrying/wanting/excitement/plans/etc. So similarly to when Buffy pops up in a dream those real life dreams that I obsess about manifest themselves. Like this going to Japan thing. I can't tell you the number of dreams that are either set entirely in Japan or I go to Japan.

But, because they're real things that I want in the real world, those are the weirdest dreams. I just wish I could stop having these dreams in my sleep, and make them goals. Goals are things that can actually happen. Goals have substance. Goals are concrete. Dreams are kind of like old school Disney princesses who wait around hoping that someone will rescue them from whatever predicament they're in (ie Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, even Belle somewhat, although she shows initiative by trying to rescue her father). Goals are more like the "girl power" princesses where they go out and do the things they know they should/want to (ie Mulan, Tiana).

Anyway, just some thoughts on dreams. I am curious though, how do your dreams usually play out?

Now I really do need to go read Gravity's Rainbow and study Japanese because I've spent the past few hours changing my blog layout and writing this post. Speaking of which, how does the layout look? Any comments/suggestions/things that are broken but I missed?

Playing Around

So, right now, instead of reading the near 200 pages of Gravity's Rainbow I need to read (I'm a little behind in the reading) or working on the other mounds of homework I have I'm messing around with my blog layout. So, for a bit here it's going to look a little weird. No worries though, I'll have it up and (more or less) good looking here in a bit :)

EDIT: Okay! layout is (pretty much) finished! I haven't 100% decided if I want the header image to be over the whole blog, or if I want it just over the sidebar like it is now. We'll see though. For now, I think it's good.

Creation

This week's W3CG video! I know, I skipped a day again, but (as I mention in the video) my Japanese midterm of doom part one was today. Part two is tomorrow. I'm leaving now to do the studying I've put off ALL NIGHT.

WTWA: Uh, I'm halfway through my Japanese midterm and tomorrow it'll be over? No, that's sad. I played video games today. So, yes. That's why. I played video games today.

My life is sad XD

Nature of the Beast

So apparently this blog has become the blog-every-school-night blog instead of the blog-every-day blog. Which, isn't the worst thing in the world. Maybe it's not what I planned, but it works. And hey! I was busy this weekend. With being out until 3AM on Friday night, my family coming up and visiting on Saturday for lunch, and kinnecting like a beast on Saturday night with Chris, Emily, and Nic (although more with Chris than Nic and Emily because they were working on homework) my weekend has been pretty full. Which is frightening for my homework situation as I have a lot of it.

Which means that this post is going to be short and another one of those "OMG my LIFE IS ALL HOMEWORK" posts, but that's the nature of my life at the moment.

I did have an interesting conversation with this girl I work with about what a nerd is supposed to look like (she's into a lot of nerdy stuff too). Like, I'll tell someone I'm really really into video games (like Halo/Mass Effect/etc) and they'll be really surprised. Like I don't look like the kind of person that would be into something like that. Plus, there's that thing with me being a girl? But then, there's people I talk to and interact with frequently enough and I'm incredibly surprised when they reveal they're into some nerdy thing. So obviously it works both ways, but I think it's interesting.

WTWA: This is actually from yesterday, but I'm deciding it counts. Did you know there's a game in Kinnect Adventures where you fly in a zero gravity environment to pop bubbles by flapping your arms? I'm not sure why, but that is why today (yesterday) was awesome. Because kinnect games are ridiculous and amazing.

Muscles

I've recently mentioned the fact I've been taking a pilates class this quarter at my college Rec Center. I'm not super new to pilates as I've done videos and read some things online about it, but this is my first time taking a class. What's nice about the class is that the instructor breaks down the exercises a lot more and can tell you if you're doing something wrong. And, let me tell you, in this setting you end up working a lot more different muscles a lot more. We've done exercises using muscles I didn't realize I actually had, and using muscles in ways I haven't thought of before. It's interesting, and also makes those muscles sore since I'm not exactly used to using them.

This made me wonder about things that I use and have access to on a daily basis but I don't really notice. I don't just mean things like clean water running freely from a sink or the easiness of acquiring food, although those are definitely things that fall under this. Strangely enough, I feel like I take for granted and fail to notice things like facebook, youtube, my smartphone, xbox, laptop, etc way more than I take for granted things like food and clean water. I forget that not everyone is connected into the internet nearly 24 hours a day, and that a large proportion of people don't have computers or have never played a video game. But for me, these things are huge parts of my daily life. I go crazy when the internet is down (although thankfully I can say that after my initial freak out and my reflex fix of unplugging and plugging the router I do remember I have things like homework to do, books to read, and things to crochet). I check my e-mail on my blackberry constantly. I always have a google chrome tab open to facebook and youtube.

Even more significant than these things are the people I fail to notice and really appreciate. It's sort of like when you pull a back muscle or you do some weird exercise that makes a muscle in your back sore, and then you really realize how much you actually use those muscles because it hurts whenever you try to move. When these people aren't available I realize how much I depend on them in various ways. Like my mom (Hi mom! I know you read this), my Dad, my brother, several of my friends (both old from high school and new from college)...

I know, I turned a post about pilates into a touch-y feel-y blog about not taking people for granted.

But it's true.

WTWA: At this moment in time I'm technically "done" with everything I absolutely have to have done by tomorrow. Sure, I have assignments I should get done tonight and reading I should work on, but if I stopped right now I would be completely fine. I haven't finished my homework before midnight on a school night in AGES. So now I'm going to bug my roommate until she's done with enough of her homework so we can watch Buffy.