Achieve Able

I am currently sitting at home/my parent's house while dressed in my college sweats and my giant high school senior sweatshirt that I ordered a size too big. I had considered waiting another week or so before coming home, but school and my college town was getting a little overwhelming and I just needed to get out for the weekend. If you are one of my awesome, awesome friends who lives in Bellingham, know that you are the part I missed. Anyway, in addition to the lazing about and watching my brother play Halo, I'm eating tons of junk food because I don't buy soda or potato chips at school, and now I have access to way too much of it. Although, in the long run I figure a bowl or two of potato chips and a can of coke won't completely ruin my goal to be a healthier person. In theory.

Anyway, I've been thinking lately about goals and feelings of achievement. My life has gotten a little crazy in terms of the goals I'm making and the things I need to do to get there. The road to these goals is turning out to be a long one (and getting longer the more research I do), and it's beginning to feel aggravating and the achievements and grades I earn in school don't feel the way it used to. Getting a good grade on a paper? I always find more things I could have done, or better ways to do something. Do well on a Japanese test? No time to think about that because I've got to start studying for the next one while making sure I maintain the knowledge of the last one. I used to get so excited over good grades and discovering that I really was learning new things, but now homework and even getting good grades feels more akin to doing the dishes than say, climbing a mountain. Sure, you can finish the dishes and you can do a really good job on them, but in all likelihood seconds after you finish there will be another dirty dish in the sink. It's the same with any school related ridiculousness. There is always more homework, more tests, and more classes.

Then, there's that thing you always hear about video games, how there's a "false sense of achievement." What makes it "false"? What makes it less "real" than getting a grade in a class or completing anything else? Today I finally finished Halo: Reach on Legendary difficulty, which is as hard as it sounds. False sense of achievement? Maybe. Was it awesome? Definitely. And since at least last June/July I've been making a super conscious effort to eat a lot healthier and continue to exercise (as I got in a pretty good habit of exercising last year). I feel like I achieved something when I made it to the gym a day or two more than I usually managed to, include lots of vegetables in my food, or (yes) when I see on the scale that I've managed not to gain weight or even lose a pound or two since I last checked. So, where does that fall?

What's the point of "achievement" anyway? When you achieve something, it means you did something. Is it the completion of something that matters? Or really, just that you did something? Do I have an answer? No. I'm really just thinking out loud.

Anyway, my point is that I like video games, and in this time of my life where I'm getting fed up with how ridiculous and confusing school is, sometimes I feel more like I actually did something when I complete a level of Halo or increase my gamerscore. Do I feel like video games produce a "false" sense of achievement then? No, I don't.

Despite my complaining about homework and my dislike of the monotony of doing yet another linguistics exercise or read another billion pages for my 8:30 AM English class where my teacher is way to intense for that early in the morning, I still must do it. So... that's what I'm going to do. Right now. Yes.

Side Note: Just because I feel like I wasn't excited enough about it in the midst of my reflective think-y post, I'm going to insert it here. I just want to geek out on the internet because I am so excited. I FINISHED HALO: REACH ON LEGENDARY BY MYSELF. OH MY GAH!!!!! That was ridiculous, and hard, and was at least 18-20 hours of my life where I died at least 200 times.

Side note #2: My posts are long when I think too much.