Day 2 Traveling

It might be 11:14 on day two of my 2011 project, but I'm still going to write something because I told myself I would. I mean, I'm already one day behind, I didn't really need to add another this early into the project...

I won't make this too long because I do need to get to bed at some point due to the fact I start classes tomorrow (which I'm really not looking forward to) but I do have a few thoughts.

I've always kind of looked at traveling between my school home and my parents house as a sort of time traveling. I go home, and sometimes I feel like I'm only partially participating, but mostly observing a world I used to know but has gone on in time without me. I feel like I've traveled back in time two years, and I see a world and a time I don't quite belong in anymore. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and I do realize obviously life goes on without me. However, I feel this time traveling so much more over winter break. I helped at the dance recital that I used to perform in, I went to my old church, and I see the friends I used to hang out with almost daily two years ago.

But now I'm back at school, and back in the present. While back in the past I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to go back to the future, but now that I'm here I think I'll be fine. Although, really, only time will tell how things will go.

But really, despite most of us not having blue boxes that are bigger on the inside, or not happening upon black holes, or possess a car that has been converted into a time machine by a slightly crazy long haired scientist, I feel like most of us travel in time in some way or another. And now, I must really speed up time and go to bed.

Day 1 (2)? Start of Something New

Oh look at that, I let another month go by again. Not that much has happened over break. Plus, I took my computer in to get the fan replaced and it took them about three times longer than they said it would so I had to borrow my mom's computer. I've been making things and playing video games and hanging out with people, but its hard to blog about such things when you're on a borrowed laptop. Not that my mom uses her computer much (or hardly at all) but I did feel a bit bad if I used it too much of the time. And I didn't want to create too many files or make too many new things that I'd have to transfer later.

Still, I meant to write over Winter break, but it never quite felt right. I would come up with things to write in my head, but I couldn't actually get it down. My thoughts have been a little tentative and messy lately, and I don't really know what to do with them. So, in an attempt to become a little more okay with the person I am in my head I've been thinking of doing something to get out of my head. And now I'm getting a little too figurative and weird, but really, this is going somewhere.

Even thought it's currently January 2nd I've been thinking of attempting to post something every day this year, BEDA fashion. Will it actually happen? Probably not, I'm sure I'll miss a few days and I've already technically missed day one. However, I think even if I just post a picture, something I learned that day, or just something I thought of it will work for what I want this to be.

As for today, I'll leave this here but I'll also direct you to my craft blog in which I am just about to post one of my last projects HERE. Feel free to look at that, and hopefully you'll see me again tomorrow :D

Woah, Where Did November Go?

It has been about a month since I last posted, but in my defense it has been a ridiculously crazy month. First of all, it was Nanowrimo so every time I thought about posting here I would feel guilty because that writing time really should go to that. Nano, by the way, went pretty well. And when I say pretty well I mean that I managed to finish by writing 30,000 words in the last 3 days of November. I just barely managed to finish by hitting 50,000 words at 11PM on November 30th, but hey! I still finished :D Then, my classes went into insane mode (despite the fact I had my midterms in October) because I had a bunch of projects and just... insanity. The Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 premiered (although, really, that's more of a reason to blog than not to blog) and I've just been attempting to keep up with my life. I also seriously considered switching my major, but now I think I'm back to sticking with my major but perhaps switching an endorsement or two.

Which reminds me, they make it way to difficult for people to become teachers (in my opinion). Don't they want more teachers? Or is this some failed attempt to try and get smarter people as teachers? Admittedly, I had some really amazing and really intelligent teachers throughout my compulsory public school career. Then again, I also had some really under qualified and not very intelligent teachers. However, I really don't think the number of loopholes you have to jump through in order to become a teacher makes it so you get smarter people as teachers. I think the ones who are smart will jump ship, and then you just get the ones who aren't smart enough to realize they should leave and the ones who are smart but crazy enough to stay. I'm hoping I fit in the latter category, because for some reason elementary/middle school teaching still seems to be the path I'm choosing. I did pay $85 to register to take some state required test in order to get into the teaching program at my school, so that right there shows some decisiveness. $85 though XD

So now, I'm currently hanging out in my apartment that has been very excellently decorated for Christmas (complete with lights, fake fireplace made out of paper with stockings hung by it, Christmas tree, two mini trees, nativity scene, and more tinsel than someone should own) on a Friday night, trying to decide what project I should work on or what final I should study for. Mostly this is because it seems like everyone I know already has plans or has to work, so I'm just hanging out here like a lemon.

Oh! Speaking of being lame and hanging out by myself I bought World of Warcraft the other day as a "Yay! You finished Nanowrimo!" present. In my defense, it was purchased because I told a friend I would play it with him over break (so, see, I'm using it to be social with people I know) and because they had a crazy deal to buy $90 worth of World of Warcraft for $20. So, I was already planning on buying it, AND THEN they made it super cheap. Sign from the universe. I haven't bought a subscription for it yet, though. That's going to be my, "Yay! You're done with finals and fall quarter!" present to myself. And I fully realize that's probably why they made the game so cheap, because then you'd be roped into paying them your soul $15 a month for the rest of your life when you wanted to play it.

On that note, I'm going to end it here. I've posted quite a few videos on WeThreeChallengirls this month (including one HERE at the Harry Potter movie premier) and I also posted a video on my personal channel today that I meant to edit and post a month ago where I show you the part of my yarn stash that I have at college. That video is HERE. Watch those if you have the inclination, and I will see you in a month next time :D

Wait, it's November?!

Haha, oops. Look at that. October just kind of flew by, didn't it? Well, it did for me anyway. My life got a little crazy with school (and midterms), social life, and just general life-ness. I definitely thought a lot about blogging, but a lot of it came down to not being interesting enough to say, or me not being sure how to put it into words. Meh.

However, this month is November, which means I have lots of things to put into words! 50,000 of them to be specific. For those of you who don't know, I'm doing Nanowrimo (stands for NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth). Nano, during the month of November, is a huge online-based challenge where everyone participating tries to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. You can write more than that (or less than that really) but the somewhat arbitrarily picked number by the folks over at http://www.nanowrimo.org is 50,000. You can view my profile and progress HERE at this link. I'm a little behind right now at almost 5000 words, but every year since 2007 I'm always behind the entire month. But then I write 30,000 words over Thanksgiving break. Makes me wonder how much I could write if I had more time to devote to it. I'm going to try and be less behind this year, but since I'm getting The Force Unleashed II and Fable III from my brother this weekend, my free time is going to be a little... divided. Plus, my homework is only building on itself, so what free time I do have is limited enough in itself.

Speaking of which, homework is really what I should be doing. I'm currently trying to write a paper for my Japanese class (in Japanese) about this book called The Pillow Book written in the early 990 in Japan by a woman we don't actually know the name of (it's attributed to a Sei Shonagon, but Shonagon is a title based on her position at court and Sei was gotten from her father, so no one knows what her real name was). I've been enjoying my research a lot as I'm super into literature (especially classic literature, big surprise), but I'm getting a little intimidated by the paper. But tonight I will start to conquer it! Hopefully. Maybe.

This could be interesting.

Achieve Able

I am currently sitting at home/my parent's house while dressed in my college sweats and my giant high school senior sweatshirt that I ordered a size too big. I had considered waiting another week or so before coming home, but school and my college town was getting a little overwhelming and I just needed to get out for the weekend. If you are one of my awesome, awesome friends who lives in Bellingham, know that you are the part I missed. Anyway, in addition to the lazing about and watching my brother play Halo, I'm eating tons of junk food because I don't buy soda or potato chips at school, and now I have access to way too much of it. Although, in the long run I figure a bowl or two of potato chips and a can of coke won't completely ruin my goal to be a healthier person. In theory.

Anyway, I've been thinking lately about goals and feelings of achievement. My life has gotten a little crazy in terms of the goals I'm making and the things I need to do to get there. The road to these goals is turning out to be a long one (and getting longer the more research I do), and it's beginning to feel aggravating and the achievements and grades I earn in school don't feel the way it used to. Getting a good grade on a paper? I always find more things I could have done, or better ways to do something. Do well on a Japanese test? No time to think about that because I've got to start studying for the next one while making sure I maintain the knowledge of the last one. I used to get so excited over good grades and discovering that I really was learning new things, but now homework and even getting good grades feels more akin to doing the dishes than say, climbing a mountain. Sure, you can finish the dishes and you can do a really good job on them, but in all likelihood seconds after you finish there will be another dirty dish in the sink. It's the same with any school related ridiculousness. There is always more homework, more tests, and more classes.

Then, there's that thing you always hear about video games, how there's a "false sense of achievement." What makes it "false"? What makes it less "real" than getting a grade in a class or completing anything else? Today I finally finished Halo: Reach on Legendary difficulty, which is as hard as it sounds. False sense of achievement? Maybe. Was it awesome? Definitely. And since at least last June/July I've been making a super conscious effort to eat a lot healthier and continue to exercise (as I got in a pretty good habit of exercising last year). I feel like I achieved something when I made it to the gym a day or two more than I usually managed to, include lots of vegetables in my food, or (yes) when I see on the scale that I've managed not to gain weight or even lose a pound or two since I last checked. So, where does that fall?

What's the point of "achievement" anyway? When you achieve something, it means you did something. Is it the completion of something that matters? Or really, just that you did something? Do I have an answer? No. I'm really just thinking out loud.

Anyway, my point is that I like video games, and in this time of my life where I'm getting fed up with how ridiculous and confusing school is, sometimes I feel more like I actually did something when I complete a level of Halo or increase my gamerscore. Do I feel like video games produce a "false" sense of achievement then? No, I don't.

Despite my complaining about homework and my dislike of the monotony of doing yet another linguistics exercise or read another billion pages for my 8:30 AM English class where my teacher is way to intense for that early in the morning, I still must do it. So... that's what I'm going to do. Right now. Yes.

Side Note: Just because I feel like I wasn't excited enough about it in the midst of my reflective think-y post, I'm going to insert it here. I just want to geek out on the internet because I am so excited. I FINISHED HALO: REACH ON LEGENDARY BY MYSELF. OH MY GAH!!!!! That was ridiculous, and hard, and was at least 18-20 hours of my life where I died at least 200 times.

Side note #2: My posts are long when I think too much.

Videos and Some Thoughts

I posted this video yesterday on the collab channel I share with my first two IRL nerdfighter friends. So, I've decided to post it on here as well. Take from it what you will.

In other news, for the past two-ish weeks there's been all this crazy stuff happening around here because a freshmen went missing the first weekend of school. Lots of people were theorizing on what happened, organizing search parties, raising money so they could have an award for information... etc. Except, they found him today. And, unfortunately, it was his body that was found near the water. I don't really know what to think of it. Some of my friends feel really affected by it, even though no one I know actually knew him (except, my mom said someone at my church was his old neighbor. Either that or a friend of someone at church was his neighbor). Some people I've talked to don't feel affected at all. They feel that it was literally just really bad luck after he got in a bad situation. That bad things happen to good people all the time, and this one just happened a little closer to us than it usually does. As for me? I'm not sure. I definitely am sad for the family and friends, but I don't even feel like I can even really begin to imagine what it would feel like in this situation to even think about how I would sympathize. But on the other hand, I never knew him. The only reason I probably ever found out his name was because he went missing. So, I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. Still, I just felt the need to write out a few thoughts on the matter.

See! Look! I have excuses!

Oh, blog. I feel I have neglected you. But my schedule has been crazy! Seriously, look at this awkwardly screen captured picture of my schedule!

Not to mention the increased travel time it takes to get to class compared to last year, increased time for food making and chore doing (dishes, etc), need for alone/me/fun time, a social life, early morning trips to the rec center, and then pile on mounds of homework and you've got quite the full schedule. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage nine (eight? I can't remember) more weeks of this, but I'm sure I'll manage. I always seem to.

But, October just started and I LOVE October. That slight chill in the air, pumpkins, pumpkin spice lattes, increasing ability to drink tea and wear scarves, impending holiday season starting with Halloween, and the fact that it's Nanowrimo preparation month! Yes, I know. I'm crazy. I have officially declared October to be "Prepare for a month of crazy noveling"-month. I feel it's necessary, even though the preparation is more mental as I've got a pretty good idea of what I'm writing about this year. It's actually a sequel to my first Nanowrimo novel, so it'll be interesting writing a sequel.

In other news, I really enjoy walking. Yes, it does take at least 30 minutes to get to my classes from my apartment due to the fact my classes are in school buildings about as far away as they can be from my apartment, but I enjoy those 30 minutes. The weather has been so nice lately, it almost seems ridiculous not to walk (if I have the time). There have been a few mornings where there just would not have been enough time to walk, so I took the bus. Still, I'm hoping to keep up this walking habit while the weather decides to keep up the nice-ness of it.

And, I realize this is another quick post, but I really do need to go read some Native American poetry for my English class. I admit that I spent all day yesterday playing Halo and watching TV and movies instead of doing homework, doing laundry, getting groceries... so now I'm paying the price.

And I forgot to buy aluminum foil for the recipe I wanted to make for dinner. Fail.