Achieve Able

I am currently sitting at home/my parent's house while dressed in my college sweats and my giant high school senior sweatshirt that I ordered a size too big. I had considered waiting another week or so before coming home, but school and my college town was getting a little overwhelming and I just needed to get out for the weekend. If you are one of my awesome, awesome friends who lives in Bellingham, know that you are the part I missed. Anyway, in addition to the lazing about and watching my brother play Halo, I'm eating tons of junk food because I don't buy soda or potato chips at school, and now I have access to way too much of it. Although, in the long run I figure a bowl or two of potato chips and a can of coke won't completely ruin my goal to be a healthier person. In theory.

Anyway, I've been thinking lately about goals and feelings of achievement. My life has gotten a little crazy in terms of the goals I'm making and the things I need to do to get there. The road to these goals is turning out to be a long one (and getting longer the more research I do), and it's beginning to feel aggravating and the achievements and grades I earn in school don't feel the way it used to. Getting a good grade on a paper? I always find more things I could have done, or better ways to do something. Do well on a Japanese test? No time to think about that because I've got to start studying for the next one while making sure I maintain the knowledge of the last one. I used to get so excited over good grades and discovering that I really was learning new things, but now homework and even getting good grades feels more akin to doing the dishes than say, climbing a mountain. Sure, you can finish the dishes and you can do a really good job on them, but in all likelihood seconds after you finish there will be another dirty dish in the sink. It's the same with any school related ridiculousness. There is always more homework, more tests, and more classes.

Then, there's that thing you always hear about video games, how there's a "false sense of achievement." What makes it "false"? What makes it less "real" than getting a grade in a class or completing anything else? Today I finally finished Halo: Reach on Legendary difficulty, which is as hard as it sounds. False sense of achievement? Maybe. Was it awesome? Definitely. And since at least last June/July I've been making a super conscious effort to eat a lot healthier and continue to exercise (as I got in a pretty good habit of exercising last year). I feel like I achieved something when I made it to the gym a day or two more than I usually managed to, include lots of vegetables in my food, or (yes) when I see on the scale that I've managed not to gain weight or even lose a pound or two since I last checked. So, where does that fall?

What's the point of "achievement" anyway? When you achieve something, it means you did something. Is it the completion of something that matters? Or really, just that you did something? Do I have an answer? No. I'm really just thinking out loud.

Anyway, my point is that I like video games, and in this time of my life where I'm getting fed up with how ridiculous and confusing school is, sometimes I feel more like I actually did something when I complete a level of Halo or increase my gamerscore. Do I feel like video games produce a "false" sense of achievement then? No, I don't.

Despite my complaining about homework and my dislike of the monotony of doing yet another linguistics exercise or read another billion pages for my 8:30 AM English class where my teacher is way to intense for that early in the morning, I still must do it. So... that's what I'm going to do. Right now. Yes.

Side Note: Just because I feel like I wasn't excited enough about it in the midst of my reflective think-y post, I'm going to insert it here. I just want to geek out on the internet because I am so excited. I FINISHED HALO: REACH ON LEGENDARY BY MYSELF. OH MY GAH!!!!! That was ridiculous, and hard, and was at least 18-20 hours of my life where I died at least 200 times.

Side note #2: My posts are long when I think too much.

Videos and Some Thoughts

I posted this video yesterday on the collab channel I share with my first two IRL nerdfighter friends. So, I've decided to post it on here as well. Take from it what you will.

In other news, for the past two-ish weeks there's been all this crazy stuff happening around here because a freshmen went missing the first weekend of school. Lots of people were theorizing on what happened, organizing search parties, raising money so they could have an award for information... etc. Except, they found him today. And, unfortunately, it was his body that was found near the water. I don't really know what to think of it. Some of my friends feel really affected by it, even though no one I know actually knew him (except, my mom said someone at my church was his old neighbor. Either that or a friend of someone at church was his neighbor). Some people I've talked to don't feel affected at all. They feel that it was literally just really bad luck after he got in a bad situation. That bad things happen to good people all the time, and this one just happened a little closer to us than it usually does. As for me? I'm not sure. I definitely am sad for the family and friends, but I don't even feel like I can even really begin to imagine what it would feel like in this situation to even think about how I would sympathize. But on the other hand, I never knew him. The only reason I probably ever found out his name was because he went missing. So, I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. Still, I just felt the need to write out a few thoughts on the matter.

See! Look! I have excuses!

Oh, blog. I feel I have neglected you. But my schedule has been crazy! Seriously, look at this awkwardly screen captured picture of my schedule!

Not to mention the increased travel time it takes to get to class compared to last year, increased time for food making and chore doing (dishes, etc), need for alone/me/fun time, a social life, early morning trips to the rec center, and then pile on mounds of homework and you've got quite the full schedule. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage nine (eight? I can't remember) more weeks of this, but I'm sure I'll manage. I always seem to.

But, October just started and I LOVE October. That slight chill in the air, pumpkins, pumpkin spice lattes, increasing ability to drink tea and wear scarves, impending holiday season starting with Halloween, and the fact that it's Nanowrimo preparation month! Yes, I know. I'm crazy. I have officially declared October to be "Prepare for a month of crazy noveling"-month. I feel it's necessary, even though the preparation is more mental as I've got a pretty good idea of what I'm writing about this year. It's actually a sequel to my first Nanowrimo novel, so it'll be interesting writing a sequel.

In other news, I really enjoy walking. Yes, it does take at least 30 minutes to get to my classes from my apartment due to the fact my classes are in school buildings about as far away as they can be from my apartment, but I enjoy those 30 minutes. The weather has been so nice lately, it almost seems ridiculous not to walk (if I have the time). There have been a few mornings where there just would not have been enough time to walk, so I took the bus. Still, I'm hoping to keep up this walking habit while the weather decides to keep up the nice-ness of it.

And, I realize this is another quick post, but I really do need to go read some Native American poetry for my English class. I admit that I spent all day yesterday playing Halo and watching TV and movies instead of doing homework, doing laundry, getting groceries... so now I'm paying the price.

And I forgot to buy aluminum foil for the recipe I wanted to make for dinner. Fail.